Dolce Far Niente

I am sitting here in the apartment right now while David is at practice, and Ty is doing his best to get everything he shouldn't be touching, grabbing, or better yet chewing on. Ipod cords, shoes, plastic bags, computer, playstation controller,  remote to the TV, cell phones. You get the picture. Our lives consist of waking up in the morning with Dave for his first practice, usually around 8:30ish. Ty eats some fruit and cereal about an hour later, plays in the kitchen while I do dishes and laundry. He is fascinated with the washing machine--it's a front loading one with a clear door so you can see the clothes getting washed. Keeps him busy for at least 5 minutes! About an hour later he lets me know it's time for a nap, so I lay down with him until he falls asleep. About that time Dave gets home. We usually find a TV series or movie to watch. Ty doesn't sleep for long once Dave gets home. I think his voice wakes him up, and he knows when Dad is home it's time to play. Ty eats lunch, usually some sort of vegetable. And we are attempting to get a schedule going so that Dave and Ty take a nap together in the afternoons. Sometimes that works, and sometimes Dave ends up falling asleep and I do something with Ty. Dave goes to practice again in the afternoons, usually around 7:00pm. Ty gets dinner, which was turkey, carrots, and potatoes tonight. Then 9:00 rolls around, which is bath time for Ty. Dave usually gets home sometime between 9:30-10:00, so they play after Ty gets out of the bath, then it's bed time for Ty. Wait, I mean teething tablet/orajel time for Ty so he can finally rest! We are getting SO close to that first tooth!!

To some, I'm sure this lifestyle may sound terribly boring. But to me, it's just what I needed. I've come to the realization that I was entirely too demanding of myself the last few years. College took a lot out of me with softball and school. I was constantly doing something--practice, studying, or attempting to let go of the stress that practice and studying put on me by going out and drinking with friends. My serious, mature demeanor with softball and school got me places, no doubt.  But now that I look back, I feel like I missed out on a lot by being too serious sometimes, attempting to be perfect, and always looking at what I have to do next instead of enjoying the present. ("I have to make an A on this test, so that I can be sure I have an A in the class, so that I can have a good GPA, so I can get into the grad school I want." Seriously...that's really how I thought. Not only with school, but with EVERYTHING.) Let's just say I lacked balance.  That mindset + unexpected pregnancy + a lot of people disagreeing with the decisions I make = STRESS.  But this fog I felt like I've been in is starting to lift, I've found myself taking in a lot of deep breaths with a nice long exhale, (deep breathe before the I open the diaper, long exhale after the new one is on ha!) and as of now, I'm the happiest I have been in a very very long time. I've found true meaning in the italian phrase dolce far niente.